Humans are funny

At around 7:40 pm last night I heard the opening salvo. A series of four loud pops in quick succession ripped through the neighborhood, and I found myself marveling anew at a human custom that I will never understand: celebrating significant occasions with crap that explodes. It’s as if people can only really enjoy themselves if there is some risk of deafness or losing a digit. The lawmakers of Georgia are keenly aware of the threat fireworks pose to public health and safety. Until recently it was illegal to sell or use fireworks of any kind inside state lines, but (probably because the allure of scintillating objects is just too powerful to deny) lawmakers have relented somewhat. Now the state permits the use of fireworks for private entertainment if the fireworks are don’t fly and don’t explode. Of course that’s like telling kids they can have all the ice cream they can consume, as long as the ice cream is really antifreeze.

Millions of people throughout the world participated in another of New Year’s Eve’s inexplicable traditions yesterday. The main thoroughfares of every major city were flush with revelers aiming to usher in the new year amid a heaving mass of drunken strangers. Here in Atlanta tens of thousands of people gathered, many of them arriving six or more hours early to find a prime spot near the tower capped by a giant fiberglass peach, to practice counting backwards in unison as the stroke of midnight approached. With the final minute of 2007 passing gradually into history, the enormous, illuminated peach descended jerkily down the tower and onto a platform below, whence 2008 had arrived at last and nothing but clocks really changed. Nonetheless the throng sent up a pulverizing roar and its members embraced one another involuntarily. Their faces brightened, mouths agape, beneath a cascade of, you guessed it, more fireworks! Dozens of explosions battered the sky with red and gold sparks, then disappeared as rivulets of smoke streaked back to the ground. For a moment there was widespread euphoria, but it soon gave way to the collective realization that, on any other night of the year, these people wouldn’t be caught dead in this part of the city after midnight. And so they dispersed, leaving a night of celebration and hundreds of tons of trash in their wake.